There was a time when I assumed we might be something real. I assumed that possibly you ‘d be a nice person to spend time with. I thought that possibly we could nuzzle, laugh, and watch motion pictures together. I believed that we might take place cute days, holding hands while walking previous closing shops on light summer nights.

But now I know much better. I know that I’m not good enough for you, not cool down sufficient, not solid enough, not casual enough. I intended to specify our relationship, I wanted you I wanted “us.” You didn’t. You wanted to fuck. You fucked my body, and then my mind. And currently you simply want more. Sliding into my DMs, moving into my texts, aiming to relapse into my life.

But I guess I have no idea much better. Due to the fact that I respond. Since I tease. Due to the fact that I allow you attract me with your games. I reply to your texts with sexy, flirty responses. I allow everything.

And then I wonder why I’m dissatisfied. I wonder why I don’t locate the “great people.” I wonder why I am caught in this vortex of insanity, as well as why you maintain contactingme, pushing yourself back into my life. But the response is quite obvious, staring up at me from my bright iPhone screen.

Due to the fact that I keep texting back.

And my close friends believe I’m masochistic, and also they may be ideal but there is even more to it compared to that. When my phone illuminate with a brand-new text from you, my lights up with exactly what I envisioned might have been. I am not texting the boy who led me on as well as made my heartstrings into puppet strings, I am texting the child I assumed appreciated my future. The child who strolled with a cocky swagger, as well as spoke cheerfully regarding his day. The kid that I attracted myself right into believing would certainly see me in different ways than every person else would see me as somebody unique. That child had not been actual, instead, you were real.

Like falling for someone, occasionally dropping away from someone takes time. And also I think that’s fine.

However slowly, too gradually, I will certainly encourage myself that I should have better. Gradually, I will certainly grab myself and also go on. Gradually, I will look forward to the day when I lastly overlook your texts, your tweets, as well as you.Read more