A College Seniors Very Realistic Resume
Name: Basic, You Can Tell Im Blonde And From Connecticut
Address: Shitty Student Housing; Living With Three Savages Who Definitely Will Not Tell Me If You Actually Mail Me A Letter
Phone: I do not respond to calls from unusual numbers unless they leave a voicemail, is that going to be a concern?
Email: Look! I went to a great school!
EDUCATION
The Trending News Sidebar On Facebook
WikiHow
HGTVs Fixer Upper
OBJECTIVE
College trainee who sweatout the last months of the expected finest 4 years of her life. Stressed. Surviving on a rigorous diet plan of coffee and Adderall. Searching for a task that will impress her moms and dads good friends so that her moms and dads leave her alone. Required an income that would enable her to reside in a single bed room in a significant city while likewise continuing to support her Amazon Prime dependency.
Ideal position would be anything that wouldnt need her to use heels or trousers.
EXPERIENCE
Chef, My Apartment
Have been informed my quesadillas are hella dank.
Bullshitter, ENG10A
Assigned a 10-page last paper on Beowulf. In some way finished and extremely valued by TA, in spite of just handling to check out the very first 5 lines prior to blowing up into flames.
Research Assistant, Facebook
Totally discovered that woman who texted John back in November and now understand she had side bangs in 2009.
SKILLS
Extensive understanding of virtually all male stars real heights
Can stop an intoxicated lady from weeping in under 5 minutes
Befriending individuals who have easy-to-remember passwords on their Netflix accounts
Microsoft Excel
This Post Brought To You By Taco Bell.
Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/katie-mather/2016/06/a-college-seniors-very-realistic-resume/
